Motherhood came to me a lot earlier than I ever dreamt it would. How much early, you ask? I took a detour from my teenage dreams, and voila, I’m in the labor room at 19, juggling textbooks and baby onesies—a confused teenager with no plan. I was a young mother, and a teenager, something not everyone was proud of for me. It was shocking to discover that I was expectant, and we had no idea what to do next.
Who needs a plan, right? As a fresh-faced teen mom, I scoured the world wide web for wisdom, only to find confusing advice.
The more I read, the more I was convinced that there were things nobody tells you as a young mother.
Well, I did get part of what I know now from blogs, YouTube videos, and books, but nothing prepares you fully for what to expect as a young mother.
Buckle up, fellow young moms!
You don’t know everything…
No one warned me about the “up all night, sleep in a diaper change” routine.
Or how a crying baby turns into your personal alarm clock.
If I could write a book on everything I knew before giving birth, it would be thousands of pages long.
I truly thought I knew a lot before I had my son. I was ready to push and pop, immediately bond with my baby, and resume school.
Ah, the ignorance of thinking I had parenting in the bag. The truth is: I didn’t.
No one was talking about the long, endless, sleepless nights for the baby’s first few months.
How you wake up for a diaper change and sleep in the middle of it, or how much the crying baby turns into your personal alarm clock.
… and you don’t know “nothing”
Sure, society loves labeling young moms clueless, but here’s a secret – no one’s perfect in parenthood.
Embrace those mistakes; they will help you level up.
Every mistake makes you a better parent and person in general.
Age doesn’t determine parenting prowess.
There’s a learning curve with any new mom, regardless of age, and it only gets better with time. Just because you have a baby young doesn’t mean you will automatically be a bad mom.
Learn everything you can about pregnancy and infancy
It’s important to educate yourself as much as you can.
Dive into mom blogs, YouTube rabbit holes, and parenting programs. Do not shy away from new information. The more the knowledge, the merrier.
Figure out your parenting plans.
Brace yourself for a tsunami of advice – everyone’s an “expert” on parenting advice; on how to hold your baby, how to wash them, when to start weaning your baby, etc.
Some of it might be good to follow, but it will get confusing if you get a piece of everything from everyone.
You (and ofc your partner) are responsible for all the decisions you make for the baby, from the get go where you decide on the name.
Leave room for a little flexibility.
Having a baby challenges relationships
During pregnancy, there are a lot of mood swings due to the hormonal changes.
After giving birth, there is a lot of stress as everyone is adapting to having a baby around.
The first few months with the baby are encompassed by sleep deprivation, physical and emotional exhaustion, lack of alone time, lack of quality time together, and sometimes it builds up resentment between partners.
All of these things are a recipe for disaster if not trended carefully.
There is a strain on all relationships, including friends and family, because you must cut out your social life for a while to dedicate more time to the baby.
But, if you asked me, with babies’ first years being the most crucial, they deserve undivided attention.
The social time can be made up for later.
Just don’t forget to lose yourself in the midst.
It’s ok to ask for help…
But is it? I had never felt comfortable asking for anything from anyone; I still am not.
Then here goes the baby, crying 23 hours a day, needing a diaper change, or being lulled to sleep.
I have to take him out in the sun, run the house, organize the mess, cook, clean, and then be up all night? Babies are exhausting to take care of by yourself!
Asking for help is hard for some people, but babies are 24/7 chaos.
There’s no shame in asking for help after delivery when you just need someone to make dinner or do the laundry.
But remember, it’s a phase.
If you have friends or family who can come over at some point during the day and hold the baby so you can sleep or take a shower, ask them to come over! It does not make you a weak person.
Just don’t turn it into a full-time job.
You’ll lose a lot of friends.
Socializing takes a backseat to baby duties. Being a young mother, not many of your peers will have kids.
And most of them will be childless for more than a few years after you had yours.
You won’t be able to relate to many of them, and they won’t be able to relate to you. You get a different level of thinking as a mom as you now have to be responsible for someone else, organize your time and finances differently, and have different priorities.
And that’s ok. It does not make you better than them; it just means you are exploring a different path.
Yes, it’s tough, but those first years demand laser focus. Your baby deserves undivided attention.
… But you’ll make new ones
Social butterflies can flutter back in later – no rush.
Age gaps fade when you’re knee-deep in diaper discussions and analyzing baby poop textures with fellow moms.
You’ll get to swap birth stories and first solid food pictures and probably have more than one serious conversation about the consistency of poop.
And that will be normal! What is better than making new friends?
Being in a similar life state where you can engage your minds and learn from one another.
It WILL be hard but worth every second of it.
There’s no easy way to say it: having a baby at any age is hard, no matter how prepared you are.
Brace yourself – being a young mother is such a challenge.
Days stretch, and nights linger, but those coos, cute eyes, and tiny hands? They are absolute magic.
My son has made me grow up much quicker than I would have, and I’m so thankful to have him!
Being a young mother means that I’ll get to spend more time in my life with him.
Your only parenting goal is to nurture a tiny human into the best human.
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